Friday Night Chatter

Now at school I'm not that popular girl that everyone wants to know. I'm just that one girl Kat. I guess you could say in a sense I'm popular because I'm easy to recognize, I'm one of the few blondes in my entire school. I just tell myself that to make myself feel better than I actually do. What can I say? I don't think that I hold a special spot in anyone's life or impacted them in any way, I feel like I'm just there. There is no point I am even trying to make, I just wish I knew if I had impacted someone's life positively in any way to let me know if I'm doing something right because lately it feels like everything is slipping away. I don't mean to be too deep or emotional but it's kind of where life is headed right now. I mean, the people around me have no clue what goes on in my mind, only me and those of you that actually read this, but don't you ever just feel like at one point for a second you had everything under control but then you turn your focus for a second and then it's all just chaos? Well, that is what I personally call my life. I seem like I complain too much, oh well, we all need to complain sometimes, we can't just keep everything bottled up inside or else one day we'll just explode. I don't know. I just have a lot of time to think. Spending my Friday night in my room on my laptop, watching Netflix, listening to music. There are some things in my life that I wish I could change but don't since I'm afraid of the outcome. What other teenagers my age are doing at this very moment is the polar opposite of what I am doing and I am quite proud to say that I am not sucked in to be like everyone else and drink and smoke along with my friends. No, we have ice cream sleepover nights and hot chocolate socials.